DEPRESSION…a serial killer !

Why do we wait for something big and devastating to happen that opens our up eyes for issues that are serious and should be taken care of ?

Recently with the famous actor Shushant Singh Rajput passing away, as he committed suicide shook the whole nation about how a person who was so happy, excelling in his career, what made him take such a step? Suddenly I see whole of the social media getting flooded with things on mental illness, depression , anxiety , importance of it and so on .….

This issue isn’t something new that has born recently. It has always been a serious issue which all of us in some way or the other have neglected. There are plenty of people out there who have, and who are still suffering from mental disorders severely and some acutely. Mental health is something we all need to take care of.

MENTAL ILLNESS AND DEPRESSION

Clinical depression has been linked to other mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, panic disorder, social phobia, and generalized anxiety disorder.

MY EPIPHANY…

Depression is debilitating.

Some people acknowledge it, some think it’s an attention call. For me, depression is like that bundle of laundry that you don’t want to show in your Instagram pictures. I never want to show my heap of laundry to the world, I want my life to seem content and put together, as if I folded and put away all my laundry right out of the dryer.

Depression can be the hardest when others just don’t understand you. Never ask anybody how they can be so sad that they could contemplate suicide. Because honestly most of the people in that situition don’t know. How did they make it to this moment? What did they do to deserve this sorrow?

Nobody really knows how to explain depression to someone. It’s so different for everyone and comes in so many different forms. Some people explains their depression as a weight that holds them down. Others describe it as a shadow that looms in the back of their mind, always taunting and trying to tear them down and then sometimes, depression is described like they are sinking. It’s like dabbling in an ocean of poison and barely catching your breath before you’re dragged back under. I don’t think people understand that depression is persistent. Some days it doesn’t feel as burdensome, it doesn’t tug and pull as hard. And other days, it knocks you down before you can even get out of bed.

I am always fighting this constant battle with myself past many years .. Yes! Me I may smile and laugh and seem happy, but know that, somewhere, in the back of my mind I’m struggling. It makes me feel like a failure, no matter what my successes. I feel worthless and like I’m a burden on everyone around me. After entering my teenage years till now I’ve been aggressive, argumentative used to reacting quickly on situations without understanding them, used to getting upset on small little things and have been called dramatic. It has become one of my biggest triggers, because most of my life I haven’t had that fight to defend it.

I get sad without any reason so often that I’ve created safe spaces. Currently, my safe place is my bathroom floor. Probably about at least 1 time in a month you can find me locked in my bathroom on the floor, crying. The lock on that door is the only form of power I feel I have when I feel everything is parting away.
Many times I have found myself on that bathroom floor contemplating life and how to make it past that very moment, will I? I have to say how thankful I am that I haven’t followed through. Life is so hard. Sprinkle on some depression, heck, dump it on – and life is now even more hard. Sometimes the low gets so low that it seems to take over, overwhelming you in a way that you could not have imagined beforehand.

Dressed from Penny to Gucci it’s a misconception that smile is the finishing touch to most outfits.We all give off the impressions that we are happy but this can be a very inaccurate representation of what we are actually experiencing.
People always say you should talk to someone, tell someone,but how do you put words on something so hard to even understand yourself? How do u explain someone that u want to live your life in peace but also you don’t know how you can? How do u explain that this no longer feels like a choice, that it controls you not the other way around.

Of course we are encouraged to TALK more these days but some of us including me wont even know where to start. some of us will Feel like we don’t have anyone to talk to and others will simply be sick of talking. Sometimes we do so much talking and thinking about whats going in our heads that we get even more confused by our own thoughts. This often leads us to say ‘ENOUGH’ and once again putting back on the brave face and deluding smile. By this we fail to get to the roots of our suffering. I am guilty of smiling so many times when I am actually freaking out from inside.
Why is it so hard to accept our own sufferings ? Well its not facile to accept your suffering because of thoughts in your head and ultimately your ego believes that you shouldn’t be suffering. That makes suffering and challenges we experience in life so much more daunting, arduous and scary.

Depression doesn’t have a face. you never know who is the girl around you always happy and cheerful must be struggling from inside or the boy who shows himself so tough maybe he needs someone to listen to him or be there for him. Nobody really knows how much the other person is hurt. We could really be beside someone who’s world is falling apart and we wouldn’t even know.

THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION OF THOSE WHO ARE SUICIDAL

People who believe those are suicidal are selfish- that they only think about themselves and not their loved ones. This is wrong ….. often those who are suicidal truly believe their loved are better off without them because they are such a burden.

Ergo, its important to be kind and tell others how much they mean to you even on their bad days. Often, people tend to not give enough importance to the person who’s suffering from mental issues and rather than giving a smile or telling the person that ‘they understand’, ‘they’re listening’ and that ‘they are there for the person’ they slightly bob their head, as if they understood yet they don’t.

There are people who often say that we can talk to them and they are always there, but when the time comes and we actually need help , they tell us to help our selves or often come to the conclusion that ‘we are in the problem because of our own wrong doings’.This far more worsens the situation for the person going through it. We are nobody to judge which  problem is big or small because we all are different and feel different emotions.

I HOPE YOU CHECK UP ON PEOPLE OFTEN EVEN IF THEY HAVE A BRIGHT SMILE, BECAUSE OFTEN BEHIND THAT BRIGHT SMILE THEY MIGHT BE FIGHTING THEIR OWN HIDDEN BATTLES.

Whenever someone says you have hurt them, don’t shut them out. You don’t get to decide if u have hurt them or not. Don’t make them feel like a fool for expressing their feelings. Don’t always be self-righteous and think you can never make a mistake. If knowingly or unknowingly your actions hurt someone, avoid doing it. You can save someone just by being kind and being there for them.

WHAT TO SAY :

  • You are not alone in this
  • You are important to me
  • You have me! And prove them not just saying it for heck of saying
  • I am not going to leave in your tough times
  • Tell them you care for them and what worth they hold
  • Tell them you understand ( only if you really do)
  • Assure them they are not weak or defective
  • Emphasize that there’s hope

It’s possible that you can say all the “correct” things and your friend will still become upset with you. Each individual have their own unique thoughts and feelings, and being irritated and upset is the nature of depression. Sometimes people will take it out on those trying to help them because they are hurting and don’t know where to direct those bad feelings. Whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. If this happens, try not to take it personally. Stay serene and continue to do what you can to love and support your friend in whatever way they will allow.

WHAT NOT TO SAY :

Avoid saying such phrases

  • Don’t think about it
  • Be positive
  • I know how you feel – never say this because nobody really knows how the other person feels or is going through
  • Count your blessings
  • Your mood is bringing everyone down around you
  • Just smile and let it go
  • Its all in your head
  • No one ever said life was fair

Many people with depression think they are just feeling sad, and that it will go away with time. For some people, it does just that. But for 15 million others, depression is a constant feeling that does not go away on its own. In fact, WHO found that depression is the second greatest reason for disability in the world. 

I know everyone out there may not have depression, but everyone definitely have something hard they’ve experienced, everyone have something to share and everyone have something to relate to. We are nobody to judge someone else’s problem no matter how big or small it is. Well small issues only take a bigger step and why wait for that oblivious stage to come,why not lend a hand in the initial stages.

Let’s be vocal about our hard times, it’s healing, not embarrassing.

WE SHOULDN’T IGNORE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN OUR HEAD BECAUSE  ITS WHERE ALL OUR HOPES AND DREAMS LIVE.

1 reply

  1. people find it hard to believe what they can’t see, but depression makes you put on a fake smile to show the world, and there are a lot of people who won’t even question it. Checking in on friends is important, even if they say they are okay. Thanks for sharing xx

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