My English madam asked everyone to share their respective moments when looked back felt like a regret. I never thought about it untill then. My brain didn’t work when required the most. I didn’t knew why don’t we get what we need when we need it. We get it when it’s presence doesn’t matter. Everybody gets what they need sooner or later but getting it at the right time matters the most.
When I think to think for a little while, I can’t think. When our mind tries to do what actually need to be done, our mind forces us to make do the thing that it does even in normal times. The fear we feel makes our mind to undo the action we require. I tried not to think about my thinking because atleast I hoped it can make my thinking normal again. Then I started to think about the question. I ended up thinking only about the question. I started at the question and stopped where I began. Then I thought that my answer must be in question that is what my mind is trying to make me realise. Everything has a reason and this too. I tried to figure the question by looking the question in different sense. I tried not to look the question as question itself. Then looking the question as answer made me to get the answer. Answering the question as answer is the answer.
We never understand the irony of life. We had what we want. The only thing we forget to do is searching. We realise that we have it and we don’t find it and we don’t understand why aren’t we getting it. We become blind when we require the things. The answer is just infront of me and I couldn’t realise it untill the neck of the moment. I found the answer for the answer that doesn’t exist. I never had a regretful moment in my whole life or may be I can’t categorise it. Neither could I recognise it nor could I feel it. May be the thought about forgetting past or unnecessarily remembering it made me not to think about it. People say not to think about past and make us think about the moment that made us regret.
By ignoring all the things said about the past in the past like people with worst past will end up in creating better future. I tried to create the present as past and made my regretting moment as the regretted moment.
I went on to the dias and spoke likewise…
The moment that I regret most is the moment when my English madam asked me to say about my regretting moment and I realised that I don’t have such moment and I feel regret at the present moment for not having a regretting moment when asked to speak about it. And the moment is now and now became then and eventually turned into my regretted moment.