NARCISSISTS and the art of blame game

When we listen to the term narcissists the first thing that strikes in our mind about that person is someone who likes to be the center of attention, likes to dominate etc

The psychiatric literature defines narcissists as possessing specific traits, such as having a sense of entitlement or requiring excessive admiration. characterized especially by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, persistent need for admiration, lack of empathy for others, excessive pride in achievements, and snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes


Narcissists like to externalize blame. It’s a fundamental feature of their modus operandi. As the theory goes, it would internally decimate them to fault themselves. It would cause emotional pain for them to bear which they cant and it could crush their “fragile” egos. So, their unconscious mind puts up defenses, Particularly, defenses of refutation and projection. They may know a mess has been made, but it can’t be because of them. It has to be someone or something else’s fault. These defenses keep them from feeling anxious or despise themselves. But are these really the reasons why narcissists blame others?

Narcissists always have to be right. That means others have to be wrong, until or unless one agree with them. Some narcissists solidly believe in their superiority. Accordingly, they always try to assert it. They want only validation and vindication.

It’s easy to call out the faults of others. We’re all flawed creatures. But narcissists go on the attack for a reason. They know how others really regard them. More importantly, deep down, they know how character-deficient they are. So, they build themselves up by tearing others down.

People with strong narcissistic traits are unwilling or unable to reflect on their shortcomings and destructive behaviours. As a result, they project, blame, and manipulate others to cope with their shallow and shaky self-esteem.

Manipulation tactics include diverting, attacking and putting others into defense mode, lying about others being worse and themselves being better, victim-blaming, and playing the victim.

They have unrealistically high expectations of life.Beneath the narcissist’s disguise are layers and layers of fallacious pretenses they’ve fabricated through the years.

As a consequence of their false sense of grandeur, overcompensation, unrealistic expectations and demands become a constant part of their life equation. They then nurture the image of an overgrown  baby who thinks the world owes them everything while clothing themselves in an appearance of superiority.

Knowing how the narcissist thinks can help you understand toxic individuals. But we all have toxic people in our lives who can’t be avoided, whether it be a parent or parent-in-law, a sibling or a sibling’s spouse, a friend of a friend, or a co-worker whom you just can’t stand.

You can’t blame someone for having narcissistic personality which  can be caused by genetic factors, environmental factors which suggests that people with narcissistic personality disorder have a damaged capacity for emotional regulation and emotional empathy.

Their mental condition is not by choice. But how they choose to act upon it is their choice — and they usually choose not to do anything about it.