FIRING THE BLAME BULLET

The popular game PUBG has weapon attachments that reduces weapon recoil. It makes life easier for the players. Recoil is the backward movement of a gun when a bullet is discharged. It is helpful to know which attachments help players to shoot better and more effectively without hurting themselves in the process due to the tremendous force at which the shots are fired.

In real life when we point the gun at someone, how badly are we affected?

Well fortunately for us, in India, there exists some tight Gun laws except for the water guns’ kids play with during Holi and Gangsters. Hence here I talk about the abstract gun which fires the Bullets of Blame on others. Pointing finger at anybody who is in sight, was my favorite thing to do in any situation.

The blaming gun can also point upwards or inwards. When it points upwards, we blame the Creator for being unintelligent or uncaring or even non-existent. When it points inwards, we beat ourselves down with self-recrimination, “I am good-for-nothing,” ending up unnecessarily with inferiority complex.

How many of you, like me; are blamers? How many of you, when something goes wrong, the first thing you want to know is whose fault it is? Well Hello there, I’m the former winner of the Miss Blamer Pageant and the magnitude to which I blamed others with respect to everything that went wrong in my life was comical.

I’m in my house. I have on white slacks and a pink sweater. I’m drinking a full cup of coffee in my kitchen. I drop it on the tiled floor. It goes into a million pieces and splashes up all over me. And a millisecond after it hit the floor, right out of my mouth comes this: “DAMN YOU CHINA!” For purposefully making these cups so shiny and slippery. Now my entire kitchen is infected by the tiny pieces of ceramic (China clay). The kitchen has to be quarantined until I clean it up…or somebody else cleans it up, never mind.

Now as I have aged, I realized- I’d rather it be my fault than no one’s fault. BUT WHY? Cause it gives me some semblance of control. Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relation with accountability. What is the difference? Well accountability by definition is a vulnerable process wherein I confide to you, “Hey my feelings were really hurt by the things you said/did.” Blaming is simply a way to express anger.

People who blame a lot seldom have the tenacity and grit to actually hold people accountable because we spend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds and figuring out whose fault something is. Blaming’s very corrosive in relationships and it’s one of the reasons we miss our opportunities for empathy. Because when something happens and we hear the story, we’re not really listening, we’re in the place where I was – making the connections as quickly as we can about whose fault it was.

SO, DO I START BLAMING MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING?!

In the spiritual path, self-blame is the most dangerous thing. Firstly, stop blaming yourself and others. We don’t have to point the gun at others or our own heads. Let us drop the gun and never pick it up, ever again.

Secondly, we need to come out of the Destiny’s Illusion. Never focus on what you can’t do, focus on what you can do. If we keep on focusing on what we can do- Then even if you believe in destiny, it will be a good one for you. Blaming your destiny will close doors to all the wonderful opportunities waiting for you.

A child runs a race with his full speed & energy and yet comes last in it. Losing the race was not his fault but taking part in the wrong race is definitely a mistake worth correcting. To simplify- Making a mistake is not your fault but doing it without your interest in it, is a mistake that can be rectified.

To solve the problem, we need; not a blaming bullet, but a helping hatchet. Not a blaming finger but a helping hand. Making mistake is in our nature. Acceptance of mistake shows our culture and correcting the mistake is progress. I do accept that spilling that damn coffee was my fault, however damn you CHINA for making the cup which broke and spread on the entire floor leaving my kitchen dangerous to walk on freely. * Gun drop * I meant MIC DROP…..phew!