Going out alone intimidates a lot of people. Won’t people stare at the girl eating pasta all alone? Isn’t it creepy to go to a cafe all by myself? What will I even do? Doesn’t that seem lonely? You mean I have to be alone with my thoughts???
And here’s the crazy part: dating yourself has so many benefits!
Taking yourself out to do the things you love most just because you can really helps you to understand what you’re all about. What are the the things that fill you up and make you feel happiest? Where does your mind go when you’re sitting by yourself at dinner? Really paying attention to these things can play a huge role in helping you to truly know yourself.
We are all suckers for dreaming of one day doing this or one day doing that, but we never really reserve the time to seriously look at actioning our plans because there are so many things to factor, sacrifice and overcome, and quite frankly, this takes effort. Although initially exciting, when given more analysis, travelling the world alone, no one by our side is scary. At the very least, to do so would require time off from work, some financial security to fund the venture, the sacrifice of leaving your own comforts, and even if all this is possible, the ability to then overcome the anxieties associated with all of the above.
I remember, I was in college and out of nowhere I had this urge to go out somewhere alone, anywhere ; the point was to have a date, alone. At first I was extremely anxious, the thought that people could see me sitting alone was disturbing me. But then I wanted to experience how spending time with myself feels like. So after lecture, I ended up at a cafe sketching and sipping on my coffee. I felt like I have accomplished something big in my life. A lot of times, when I head out to coffee shops with no specific task to accomplish are the days when I really dig into what I’m passionate about. Sitting down and thinking about what I want to do with my life gets me hyped up to start making it happen.
So here’s a challenge: find at least one day in a month where you have no plans. Fill it with your favorite activities. Spend money on yourself. Buy yourself your favourite food.
Then, after you’re home that night, think about how you feel. Did you have a blast? Did you work through some hard thoughts you’ve been avoiding? Take note because you just learned a buttload about yourself. Now plan your next date.
Remember, when you take the time to intentionally date yourself, you actually start to find your identity. As a result, you start to feel more comfortable in your own skin – which ultimately leads to a successful and healthy relationship with not only yourself, but with others. Going against society’s ‘norm’ and dating yourself is one of the healthiest things you will ever do.