Article by – Shishir Tripathi
Intern at Hariyali Foundation
In collaboration with
In this fast moving world of cars, airplanes, rockets and other scientific inventions; the world has gained a lot. But it is a well known fact that when something is gained, something has to be lost. Parents are there with their point of view and children with the so called modern and different point of view.
The difference between points of view of parents and children creates a void or something which is said to be as Generation Gap.
Nowadays, conflicts between parents and children are so common. Parents stick upon the ideas and their beliefs which they gained through various experiences in life whereas children stick to their point of view, their ideas which are new, modern and much better (according to them) than their parents’. Particularly taking into account the case of marriages i.e., Arrange marriage and love marriage. This is such a burning issue in families in country like India.
As it is assumed by children that parents love arranged marriage and they don’t even ponder or agree to the idea of their sons and daughters going against love marriages. But, dear reader, one must take into account the perception and point of view of parents also. Parents have been living in a world of traditions, ethics and perfections which can exist only when the children will get married through arrange marriages (according to the parents). So by thinking deeply on it they believe what they have seen, what they heard and yes what they have lived.
Now on the other hand side, the daughters and sons who are living in a virtual world of facebook, instagram, love quotes and shayris floating all around, quotes on relationship goals and what not, simply have assumed that love marriage is the best form of marriage. They discard the idea of arrange marriage as trash without taking into consideration the fact that understanding and love between their parents exist who did arrange marriage years before.
Therefore, it is a clear cut situation. Children and parents, both are human beings. Parents and children believe what they see, what they have lived and are still living. At the same time parents and children have examples, all ready for successful arrange marriages and love marriages to support their sides.
Parents in their life have seen broken marriages, divorces, brides of dowry exploitation for not bringing enough dowries who did love marriages, divorces of couple at the same time who were at one time proclaiming themselves as two bodies and one soul.
Parents simply just want their children to have a very happy and successful married life which they believe comes only from arrange marriages. Parents think that it is safer side to go for arrange marriage because the couple will really need a lot of time to understand each other and meanwhile this process they’ll start loving each other too. In the walk of life, the couple will have babies and responsibilities and in the process of fulfilling all those responsibilities, they’ll live a lovely and successful married life.
According to parents, it might be a risky business for their children to get married to a person who is the only one to love and support their child and their child will end up ruining his or her own life just by the craze and stubbornness for love marriage. It is assumed that love decreases in love marriages and increases between the couples who did arrange marriage.
Children feel that whomsoever they love, will surely be their soul mate in the entire journey of life. They believe that if they’ll do arrange marriage, then they’ve to life a life with an entirely strange person. But seriously, one cannot discard the idea that the person whom they love and believe him/her as their future life partner was a stranger once before the first talk.
Also parents should try to understand that forced arrange marriage can also result in suicides, divorces, domestic violence and many similar issues.
Hence from having an idea and taking interest in knowing of the point of view of each other, the parents and the children both, the problem of generation gap can be solved. That void can be filled for which no filling looks the right solution.
Therefore, one can conclude that by talking, by understanding each others’ view, by looking at the situation from side of parents or children, by remembering each others’ past experiences and the environment in which parents and children have grown up and still living, the problem of difference of opinions and generation gap can be reduced to the best possible extent.
That’s why it was correctly mentioned on page named ‘kalam_se_kaleje_tak’ on Instagram:
“Understanding and respecting each other’s point of view is the best way to develop a strong and forever lasting relationship”
This relationship could be between anyone, between father and son, father and his daughter. Similarly, mother and son or mother and daughter or simply between any two individuals who are ready to understand and love each other.