Anger, according to Charles Speilberger, a psychologist says, “anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage”. Anger brings about both physiological and bilogical changes, your energy goes up, heart rate goes up, blood pressure goes up and what not. Anger is something which can be caused because of various reasons, it can be because of some person, it can be due to a particular personal problem, it can also be because of a particular event.
The natural way to express anger and throw it out is to respond aggressively, throw out our feelings and thoughts. We cannot express our anger on someone through any sorts of physical abuse. There are basically three ways in which one can express their anger, through expressing, through suppressing and through calming. Anger can be prevented or subsued down, it cam be converted into a different emotion and then redirected to that particular emotion. If at all anger is not responded to and expressed outward, it will turn into a burden on ourselves leading to hyper-tension, depression and higher blood pressure. Anger can also lead to passive-aggressive behaviour, for example, one will tend to talk at the person in a very indirect manner and tone as if they are taunting on the person they are speaking with.
People who generally get angry easily have something called as a low tolerance for frustration. They can easily get angry at the tiniest of things they are corrected upon, their tiniest mistakes which can be ignored but someone makes them realize that it is their mistake, etc. The main reason why the react in such a way is the way in which they are taught what anger is. They are not taught how to deal with anger in a positive manner and that they are always taught that anger is a negative emotion. Reasons why people become angry are many, some of them are situations which makes us feel as if we are getting threatened or attacked, we are being invalidated or our say or our ideas or thoughts or our words are not getting respected when we express. Another reason can be due to certain past experiences like any children getting abused in his/her childhood and the same situation comes across, it triggers their mind and the way they had reacted in the past is repeated. Anger can also be because of certain grief expreience one has gone through recently. If we lose someone we love, it can trigger to anger situations and managing it becomes very difficult because it brings pn us more conflicting thoughts which can make us furious. Family background can also bring about anger situations in us. When people come from families where what they only seen is disruption, chaos and shoutings, etc, it affects them more and what they will lack is the need to communicate as they tend not to express what they feel inside them and often, they are in a state of confusion and anger and sadness.
There are various ways to manage anger, I say manage because one cannot always be happy and merry and cheerful, anger is also an emotion and will always be there in human beings. Some of the ways to manage anger is as follows:
- Thinking of words and language and tone before speaking- Words once spoken, cannot be taken back. One should think before speaking and allow others to speak in the same situation.
- Once we become calm, we should express our anger in a way where it does not lead to controversies ie, we should not hurt other’s feelings or try to control them.
- Exercising is a very useful way to reduce stress levels and anger. Doing any physical activity which lessens our anger and ensuring that we enjoy can bring down our anger and stress levels.
- Do not hold a grudge- Forgiving someone who makes you angry makes both the other person feel happy and reived and yourself too. It will help you to strengthen your bond and relationship with the other person. \
- Use humour to lessen burden or to release tension- Lightning up whenever we have anger can help reduce or irradicate anger. One should use humour to calm themselves up and reduce their anger. One can choose to create humour from the angry situation they are in, it will help in lessening stress levels.